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  • Writer's pictureMarie Wright | bold bean coaching

Finding your why

Do you ever think about your purpose in life? And if so, do you know what it is? If not, hopefully this will help you figure it out.

Knowing in our core the one thing we were put on this planet to do can make all the difference to our life satisfaction. It provides us with an unstoppable drive to make it happen and doing so doesn’t feel like work. So, when we find out what it is and focus our life on making it happen, we will never work another day ever again.

What does our purpose look like?

Our purpose is objective. It is something that never changes. It stays with us for life. It is our origin story. Something that we learnt from the lessons of our upbringing and past. It can be something that either caused us pain which we don’t want others to experience, or something that brought us real joy, which we therefore want others to have.

And it usually aligns with our values and what is most important to us in life, as well as with our innate strengths - those traits that we are naturally good at and we find easy.

How do we figure out what it is?

We can start by asking ourselves questions such as, “What do I want for others?” “What experiences have I had that I wouldn’t wish on anyone else?” “What lessons have I learned that were really powerful to me?” “What brings me real joy?” “What is it that when I do it, time flies by and I am lost in the zone?” “What could I spend all my time doing and never get bored?” “What do I find myself thinking about, researching, and spending any spare time I have doing?”

Discovering our why.

If we answer these questions and really think deeply about the answers, it will lead us to understanding what our purpose might be.

We can think of our purpose as the foundation of our life. It grounds everything and determines who we are, who we are being and what we do in life.

Our purpose could become our vocation, or simply something we do in our spare time that we love and that brings us pure joy.

To give you a sense of it, I will share with you my purpose: “To see and validate others so we can understand and embrace our innate authentic selves, in order to live our why and thrive”.

How do we know if we have uncovered our true purpose? We know we have got to the heart of our why because it will resonate deeply with us. It will fit with who we are. It goes hand in hand with the essence of us. We just know. It feels right.

Creating our vision.

Once we know our purpose, it is helpful to create a vision for that purpose to be realised. We can in fact create many visions, one for each area of our life. Thus, we can have a vision for our family and one for our career and so on.

What does our vision look like?

Our vision is subjective and is about the future. It can be about whatever we want because it is about the direction we are going in. It is the commitment we make in life to advance towards that cause happening in the future.

Our vision is normally something that makes the world a better place in some way. It can change from time to time, but it always relates to our purpose.

If our why is our foundations, then our vision is the house we build upon those foundations.

To give some context, my vision is: “I imagine a world in which everyone feels seen, heard and held, can own and align with their true authentic selves to feel fully alive and free”. What is your life's purpose and vision? And how are you going to make it happen? Whether you dedicate your life to it, or act in some small way towards it is fine. But knowing what it is and championing your cause will add real meaning to your life as well as bring real joy and happiness to you and those around you. I hope you find it (if you haven’t already).

*** If you’d like to learn more about this, Simon Sinek has written some excellent books on this subject, such as “Start With Why” and “The Infinite Game”. He also talks about this and more as a guest on one of Brené Brown’s Dare To Lead podcast episodes on Spotify.


Do you have any questions?

I hope you found this helpful. If you have any questions or would like to explore how coaching might be able to help you find your why, just get in touch. I'm very happy to have a chat.

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