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  • Writer's pictureMarie Wright | bold bean coaching

Finding your voice

My children learnt to speak in very different ways.

My daughter learnt to talk at a very young age. She started mimicking words I said at only several months old. And by the time she was 2 years old, she was speaking in full articulate sentences, reciting all the colours and counting to twenty as if she were at big school already.

My eldest son, on the other hand, didn’t speak at all. He didn’t copy words, he lived in a silent world, other than making noise like crying or unintelligible sounds. He let his big sister do all the talking for him.

My son only found his voice at the age of nearly 3 years old, when he almost caused me to crash the car – literally. Such was the shock of hearing him start speaking so suddenly and without any warning.

I was driving along with him and his baby brother, when he suddenly came out with two big fat sentences, having never said anything at all his whole life.

I love mummy and chocolate

He said: “I love mummy, I love daddy, I love Ella, I love Jasper, I love Nanny, I love Grampa and I love chocolate. But most of all I love my mummy and chocolate.”

What I loved most about that sentence was that I was first, and chocolate came next; he definitely takes after me!

My children found their voices in very different ways and at different times in their childhood, but they found them, and one of the things I feel most proud of as their mum, is that I have encouraged them to speak freely, and form their own opinions, and have a say, so now they have a voice in the world that they are confident to use.

We all learn to talk at some point in our childhoods, and if we can’t physically speak, then we communicate in other ways such as sign language for example. But there is more to finding our voice than learning to talk.

What it means to find our voice

Finding our voice means understanding ourselves, being authentic to who we truly are deep down inside. Having the courage and confidence to speak up for what we believe in. Feeling worthy enough to be seen and heard and take up space to have a say and voice an opinion. To feel good enough.

My job as a coach Is to help other people find their voice. By listening to their stories, asking questions, wanting to understand, and helping them to form new and more powerful stories about themselves, they find their voice too. My purpose is to validate them and in doing so, help them to be seen, feel heard and to feel good enough.

Not so long ago, I hadn’t found my voice. I felt small and insignificant and not worthy. I didn’t think I was good enough.

How I found my voice

This is what I have learned over the past few years that has helped me find my voice:

  • We all have a gift to offer the world – a purpose. Find what that is for you, and that is the key to unlocking your voice

  • We need courage in order to use our voice. It takes being vulnerable and stepping out of our comfort zones in safe spaces to build up our confidence to use it more and more

  • All of us have a fear of not being good enough; this is a human trait. Knowing that we aren’t alone in feeling this way helps us to accept this and ultimately overcome that fear and to know that we are good enough, no matter what

  • Not being afraid to make mistakes. To focus on the learning, rather than the knowing. Not pretending or needing to be any more than we are

  • To value ourselves and believe we are equal to and not less than others

  • To find and own our story. To be authentically us and use our experiences in a powerful way not only for our own benefit but also for others

But what has helped me the most is helping my clients find their voices, and in doing so, they have helped me to find mine.


Do you have any questions?

I hope you found this helpful. If you have any questions or would like to explore how coaching might be able to help you find your voice, just get in touch. I'm very happy to have a chat.

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